This past weekend I was fortunate enough to stay with the Sebako family for three days and nights. During my stay I was exposed to cultural differences between the United States and Botswana. At the lunch when I met mother it was a little awkward because she told me I was fat. I was unsure whether to take this as a compliment because she called herself fat too, but in my head I was kind of appalled that this woman was so rude so quickly.
Once I was taken to her home, I was introduced to everyone there. I met her husband, who I was told to call Sebako, her housemaid, an aunt, and one of her sons, Thunder. They were all very nice and happy to see me. Mrs. Sebako and I then walked to a near by shop to buy food for my stay. She bought 200-pula worth of beef! It was quite a bit of meat that we had to carry back the house. Once we got home the husband showed me the cow hooves and head that he bought from a different butcher. I expected to see more meat, but instead I saw a cow head that still had the hair and eyeballs and the hooves that looked like they were just chopped off. I almost threw up I was so disgusted by it, but I was able to keep it down. He told me that he was going to skin it and then cook it to eat. In more traditional days, only men were able to eat this part of the cow and women could not have any unless men gave it to them. I did not try this meat, but everyone else seemed to really enjoy it.
For dinner that night, I helped cook some mogobe, soft porridge, and some leafy green relish looking thing. When they served me my plate I was stunned at the huge portions of food. There was not way that I would be able to eat the entire plate, and I did not finish it. It was strange to me that the family did not sit at the dinner table together and eat their meals; they instead were spread out throughout the entire house. After eating, I collected everyone’s dirty dishes and did all of the dishes in the very specific way that Mrs. Sebako showed me. The rest of the night consisted of us watching television and chatting about their family. I learned that Mrs. Sebako works in the parliament and that Mr. Sebako was the first person to teach blind students in the country. It was interesting to learn so much about their jobs and where these jobs have taken them. Mr. Sebako has traveled around Europe and Africa while attending conferences for the country. He was very knowledgeable about the world around him.
The next morning I slept until seven, and although I thought that was early, everyone in the family asked why I slept so late. I ate some breakfast, had tea, and then went to help with chores around the house. I learned how to use a traditional broom and helped start a fire that they used to heat up water throughout the day. Mr. Sebako was hard at work on the cow hooves (yuck!) and Mrs. Sebako milled about all morning around the house. I was able to sit and watch some interesting soap operas with the younger daughter, Fatima. She is in her last year of high school and is planning on going to the University of Botswana next year. We watched television until the eldest daughter, Thato, came to pick up Mrs. Sebako and I to take us to dinner. We went to Thato’s home where I met her husband and her two children. I helped grill some steak and we ate a very large and delicious dinner. After the women finished the dishes, we went to a lodge where the kids could play on the playground and us adults could relax. They shared drinks with me and we had a great time. We later dropped off Mrs. Sebako and the children and went out to some more bars and I was able to see Mochudi nightlife. It was nice being at these places because I was not stared at as much as I am in Gaborone.
The next day I woke up early because I thought I was going to the cattle post, but we ended up leaving two hours after they had said. We drove about an hour away to the lands and I was able to see the family’s goats and cattle. After four hours there, we came back to lunch that Mrs. Sebako prepared and I was then able to rest for an hour. The Younger son Thunder showed me how he makes sand art and I got to make my own. At first I was like “how hard could it be?” but it ended up being a bit more difficult than expected. I now have more souvenirs though! The rest of the day was very calm abd relaxing. The family wanted to take a lot of pictures with me and we spent the rest of the night chatting and getting to know more about one another.
Overall, this was a very educational experience. Although my home was very comfortable I was put into challenging cultural situations that I had to just deal with. I am not used to being bossed around by men and having to do everything for the men of the house. It was a bit frustrating that women were doing almost everything in terms of chores around the home while the men just did their own thing. The eldest brother looked me at as inferior and almost stupid and that was very difficult to handle. Even though there were some rough patches, I was able to really enjoy myself and create wonderful relationships within this family.
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